Sunday, March 27, 2011

A God in the Shadows

"For rain that's falling halfway down the sky
I apologize"—"I apologize", Splender

I've never understood why, if God exists, he would leave so many people so much room for doubt about his mere existence. I've heard people say, "What do you mean? I see God working in my life every day!" and, "If you're not looking for miracles, you won't notice them." That may be true, but I don't understand why God would purposefully stay aloof, from everybody or just from me.

God supposedly healed plenty of lepers and cripples and blind people, but he seems to be shy about anything as dramatic as healing an amputee. I guarantee you that would get nonbelievers' attention, even if they're just predisposed to doubt.

People might say that God doesn't want to make it too easy because having faith is so important, and people wouldn't depend on faith if they had clear evidence. But that sounds a lot better when you're talking about a yes-or-no question, whether God exists, than about what sort of God exists and how to do what he wants. If you have blind faith, but it's faith in the wrong god, that's a double shame. And I just can't see how God would be doing us a service by giving us just enough evidence that we still have the "freedom" to reasonably conclude he doesn't exist.

And if it's a personal God, why would he pass up the chance to have a relationship with so many people? It's not just major miracles I'm thinking about. How is a relationship more meaningful if you talk in barely audible whispers?

For me, it's not really compelling anymore to go hunting for prophecies that might have been fulfilled, or otherwise chasing after God, since any sort of God I would be inclined to worship would have already contacted me directly, or at the very least would do so sometime in the near future. There is no other evidence or line of reasoning any person can show me that would lead me to reconsider. If you want me to believe in God, you'll have to take it up with him.